In Which I am in the Zone–The Friend Zone, That Is

I am often guilty of writing singularly from the perspective of why the men I write about aren’t worthy of my consideration as potential candidates for romance. This might lead a reader to believe that I have an over-inflated view of my own desirability.

Not so. I have experienced my fair share of rejection. And I would be remiss not to share a bit about that.

So today I present: The FRIEND ZONE— a space I have spent a great deal of time in, particularly in the not-too-recent past.

Continue reading “In Which I am in the Zone–The Friend Zone, That Is”

In Which Timing is EVERYTHING–and mine is not so fast

Everyone has their own pace. Mine? While I trend towards impulsive decisions, my overall pace is generally slow– Especially when it comes to online strangers.

Oh, don’t get me wrong– I’m all for meeting in person as SOON as I have determined that the human behind the screen SEEMs to be a decent sort. (Few things rot more than wasted time–investing energy and effort into getting to know someone through the written word only to discover you do not enjoy their actual presence. So I’m a fan of meetings in public places as early on as possible.)

But that’s about as fast as I tend to move in general.

I’m not one for placing a huge emphasis on the first date. I’m not looking for romance or spark. I’m looking for whether or not I ever want to endure this human’s company again. I’m looking for hanging out. For laughter. For a good experience. There are a million things that are important to know about worldview and ideals and compatibility in general. But none of them matter if I don’t enjoy his presence. So I treat a first date as a casual encounter rather than an event of SIGNIFICANCE.

The first time I met Mr. Moved-Too-Fast, we were both on time. But also equally 40 minutes late. I was waiting inside – He had waited outside. Wisconsin hates cell phone reception, so I had no way to communicate with him; and I was just about to give up when when he saw me through the window– oops!

I don’t really believe in foreshadowing, but if I did, that would probably have been a sign that we just weren’t on the same page.

Continue reading “In Which Timing is EVERYTHING–and mine is not so fast”

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In Which Snow is Softly Falling

Before the roads turn slushy and slick… 

Before grey skies loom so pervasive that gloom seeps into the soul, obscuring the memory of sunshine… 

Before the drifts stain with brown and black (occasionally yellow)… 

There is a certain pristine magic to snow. A certain silence rich in hushed affirmation of beauty even in the bleakest weather. A gathering of white crystals tracing inky branches with a layer of lovely.  A bracing pause. A season. A something more that isn’t yet but soon. A wet whisper that clings to your coat, your hair, your eyelashes–but melts when you step inside the door. 

   
    
   

This was my favorite picture. Sunrise on Saturday Morning. Second to last day.

In Which I Reminisce About Recent Adventures

Today, I finally caved to the harsh reality of life and turned the heat on in the bird nest.

Thanks to newly replaced windows, eclipse curtains, and a downstairs neighbor who keeps things toasty, I was able to coast along the edges of winter for a while; but now that 30 has become the consistently highest high and snow has begun to gather on the front lawn, it is time to resign myself to the need for more than a fuzzy blanket and a hot cup of coffee.

These cooler temperatures have me feeling nostalgic and longing for the warmth of far away places–places like Florida and the Bahamas– both of which I had the joy of visiting last month.

It was the most incredible adventure– and It actually began on this blog two years ago. (But that’s another story for another time.)

In May, a Facebook status shared an invitation to partake of an amazingly-priced cruise to the Bahamas. Having never been on a cruise, and staring down 30 like the barrel of a gun, I decided, “Why not?” The likelihood of having either the free time available, the money, or the price point all together at the same time ‘someday’ in the future seemed pretty slim–and this was, after all, my year of living dangerously. On a whim, I booked an October vacation; and it was definitely one of the better of the impulsive decisions to which I tend to be prone.

Impulsive or not, the whole waiting for life to happen hasn’t been working out, so

I WENT TO THE BAHAMAS! ON A BOAT!

And Oh, my friends, it was both grand AND glorious!

It all hinged on the company–which was FABULOUS (especially considering I only knew one of the 3 people I was meeting up with)–and that turned the decadence, adventure, fantastic food, epic exploration opportunities, and delicious warmth into a dazzling cocktail of wonderfulness that I really have no idea how to put into words. Without compromising the anonymity of the delightful peeps with whom I cruised, here are some of the highlights:
Continue reading “In Which I Reminisce About Recent Adventures”

In Which God’s Gift to the Female Population Writes a Profile

I’m about to analyze a profile from the female perspective. My words will be in brackets. Everything else is his.

About Him & Who He’s Looking For 

[Spoiler: It’s actually more about who he’s looking for–and she’s a great catch! The question I want to know: Is he????]

Continue reading “In Which God’s Gift to the Female Population Writes a Profile”

In Which there are Gold Stars and Punny Jokes

What’s with all the Gold stars mentioned in these conversations? Keep reading, you’ll find out.

If you’ve read my blog for a while, you understand that I expect a lot from online conversations with strangers. I rarely continue them unless they are engaging; however, I do try to give people something to start with.

This is my current profile.
What do you think? Would you send me a message? Continue reading “In Which there are Gold Stars and Punny Jokes”

Ex Files: In Which 8 Years Will Become 9 Unless this Profile Changes Drastically

Every once in a while, I come across a profile SO BAD that I can’t help but wonder if the person is serious. Is it some sort of social experiment? Is it some kind of joke? Is it a tongue-in-cheek loss to a bet in which the loser had to set up a dating profile– and it was executed in the worst way the loser could possibly imagine?

Between the randomized capital letters, lack of punctuation, and whining, I’m not sure if I the note about being funny is hilarious or horribly tragic.


My self-summary

WELL I AM name deleted I AM old enough to know better. IM INTO PUNK,ROCKABILLY, AND METAL MUSIC, I LIKE HOT ROD SHOWS, CARSHOWS, COMICS, MOVIES, OLD BIKES,
I LOVE TO DRAW,
I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN IS THAT TO MUCH TO ASK???
I HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR OVER 8 F@#KING YEARS, I AM CLEAN, NEVER BEEN IN ANY KIND OF TROUBLE, NEVER BEEN TO JAIL OR PRISON,

What I’m doing with my life

OK, 1 TRYING TO GET A NICE PRETTY, SMART, GIRLFRIEND, BEEN HURT TOO LONG AND NEED TO FEEL LOVE AGAIN……
 

The first things people usually notice about me

i am funny