Milestones!

After blogging for nearly a month, I received my first nasty gram in a comment posted yesterday.

Oddly enough, rather than feeling sad, discouraged, or angry, I felt validated as a writer. Someone disagrees with me, and disagrees with me vehemently enough to write a comment full of emotion, logical fallacies, and slanderous statements!   I feel as if I have crossed some rite of passage and marked a milestone that commemorates my acceptance into the world of blogging.

Dissenters and naysayers! Opposition! Hooray!

The excitement will probably fade after I field a few more of these comments, but for now, I am thrilled to have received, in the midst of affirming encouragement and disinterested apathy, my very first piece of hate mail.

It reads as follows:

“You are a stupid _____[unkind word comparing me to a female dog]. Your blog sucks. You’ll never get a man because you have no _______ [vulgar word referring to my female anatomy]. You need braces. You are a mean person and I can’t stand you.”

I had three choices. I could either delete the comment, leave it there and ignore it, or leave it there and reply.

While I very nearly went with option number one, I decided instead to reply.
But rather than reply in kind, I wrote the following:

Hello, ______, [name of person who wrote the nastygram]
Thank you for your thoughtful response to the content of my blog. I appreciate that you took some time to mull over my ideas.

I would like to point out a few things regarding your conclusions:

First,
If I fail to form a lasting relationship with a member of the opposite gender, I daresay my self-absorption and many eccentricities will play a far greater role in this outcome than the physical deficiencies by which you have chosen to measure the value of my womanhood. (But in the grand scheme of things, acknowledging that physical attraction is an undeniable factor in the relational equation, I’m pretty sure my acne is of far greater consequence than volume-less voluptuousness when it comes to aesthetic deficiencies. In addition, I would have considered the coffee-tinged tint of my teeth to be more off-putting than their slight crookedness. But what do I know, right?)

Second,
Physical appearances aside, I’m afraid that you have made an unfortunate assumption regarding my basic premise. You see, I never once claimed to be “nice.” Nor do I strive to be.

Nice is an arbitrary term (as is mean) relative to the person using it. Usually an evaluation of nice or mean is predicated merely upon whether or not the person issuing the judgment has been offended.

So it seems that you have found the content of my blog to be offensive. I would say that I regret having offended you…except that I don’t. My goal is not to refrain from offending but to entertain by sharing my experiences and perspectives concerning them.

If my blog offends you, dear reader, I urge you to continue reading, so that you may never have to settle for the personal stagnation resulting from never having your own perspectives challenged.

Thank you for taking the time to comment.

I look forward to further philosophical discourse as you share your points of contention.

Sincerely,
-C.

 

 

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25 thoughts on “Milestones!

  1. Charlotte

    Yipes! Well, at least you know you’re attracting a wide and varied readership ()^_^.
    Keep on writing, friend, the rest of us are enjoying it and are immensely entertained.

    Like

    1. Attract Indeed.
      The person replied to this post within minutes of it being posted. Only, this time, the vocabulary was too colorful to allow to remain. >_<

      Hate mail number two within twenty four hours! @_@
      Makes me very very grateful for readers like you who read and give thoughtful replies ^_^

      Like

  2. I should let you read one of my posts on Dakka Dakka where I try in vain to slay the trolls and even educate some of them about my products. I have several examples of “This is the dumbest idea ever” that turn to “Wow I might have to get some”. I don’t always have the energy to fight those long battles against ignorance and stupidity. I have also lost several battles. The one that cracked me up the most involved my Omni-Ruler release. They are small 1″ screw together customizable ruler pieces. The guy actually went to the trouble to calculate the cost of replacing his 12′ tape measure with my product. It was like $400+. He of course never uses more then 15″ of that 12′ ruler but logic never stops trolls.

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    1. I definitely don’t have the energy to deal with this particular gentleman. (I use the term gentleman quite loosely.)
      His response to this post was vitriolic and frightfully punctuated. He also seemed confused about what it means to call someone a slut. (“That word. You keep using it. I do not think it means what you think it means….. “)
      Anyway, you are more than welcome to attempt an education, but tomorrow, we shall reconvene with our regularly scheduled program ^_^

      Like

    1. Thank you. ^_^
      It sort of egged him on, which resulted in two more far colorful attacks that I have deleted and refrained from responding to. But I was delighted by the opportunity to write a civil nastygram ^_^

      (It took me by complete surprise because I write a DATING blog. What’s so incendiary about that, right? ^_^)

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  3. Awesome response! I like the way you turned an offensive, rude situation into a humorous one. We need more people like you in the world- logical, humorous and down to earth. Should I receive a comment in the vein of the one you received, I’ll be sure to look back at how you handled the situation. 🙂

    Like

    1. Thank you! Heh… the person who received it didn’t think it was so logical and down to earth. He is the reason my comments are moderated since he left some rather colorful ones following my reply….

      Like

  4. Pingback: Day 11: Be a Good Neighbor | Snap Thoughts

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