After blogging for nearly a month, I received my first nasty gram in a comment posted yesterday.
Oddly enough, rather than feeling sad, discouraged, or angry, I felt validated as a writer. Someone disagrees with me, and disagrees with me vehemently enough to write a comment full of emotion, logical fallacies, and slanderous statements! I feel as if I have crossed some rite of passage and marked a milestone that commemorates my acceptance into the world of blogging.
Dissenters and naysayers! Opposition! Hooray!
The excitement will probably fade after I field a few more of these comments, but for now, I am thrilled to have received, in the midst of affirming encouragement and disinterested apathy, my very first piece of hate mail.
It reads as follows:
“You are a stupid _____[unkind word comparing me to a female dog]. Your blog sucks. You’ll never get a man because you have no _______ [vulgar word referring to my female anatomy]. You need braces. You are a mean person and I can’t stand you.”
I had three choices. I could either delete the comment, leave it there and ignore it, or leave it there and reply.
While I very nearly went with option number one, I decided instead to reply.
But rather than reply in kind, I wrote the following:
Hello, ______, [name of person who wrote the nastygram]
Thank you for your thoughtful response to the content of my blog. I appreciate that you took some time to mull over my ideas.
I would like to point out a few things regarding your conclusions:
If I fail to form a lasting relationship with a member of the opposite gender, I daresay my self-absorption and many eccentricities will play a far greater role in this outcome than the physical deficiencies by which you have chosen to measure the value of my womanhood. (But in the grand scheme of things, acknowledging that physical attraction is an undeniable factor in the relational equation, I’m pretty sure my acne is of far greater consequence than volume-less voluptuousness when it comes to aesthetic deficiencies. In addition, I would have considered the coffee-tinged tint of my teeth to be more off-putting than their slight crookedness. But what do I know, right?)
Physical appearances aside, I’m afraid that you have made an unfortunate assumption regarding my basic premise. You see, I never once claimed to be “nice.” Nor do I strive to be.
Nice is an arbitrary term (as is mean) relative to the person using it. Usually an evaluation of nice or mean is predicated merely upon whether or not the person issuing the judgment has been offended.
So it seems that you have found the content of my blog to be offensive. I would say that I regret having offended you…except that I don’t. My goal is not to refrain from offending but to entertain by sharing my experiences and perspectives concerning them.
If my blog offends you, dear reader, I urge you to continue reading, so that you may never have to settle for the personal stagnation resulting from never having your own perspectives challenged.
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
I look forward to further philosophical discourse as you share your points of contention.