Today’s post is a guest post by the lovely Laura C. Back when we first met, she was one of my freshman students in EN 101. These days, she’s a college graduate navigating the perils of adulthood and keeping my facebook feed full of interesting tidbits.
I hope you enjoy her reflections on Backhanded Comments as much as I did! ^_^
Backhanded comments from men:
- “You’re so cool, how are you still single?”Because my Coolness is an ever-expanding supernova, enveloping and destroying every potential mate in its path, that’s why…
- “You have such a pretty face!””But I want to throw holy water on the rest of your hideous body, you disgusting beautiful-headed demon-woman.”?
- “You look so great I didn’t even recognize you!””As opposed to the snaggle-toothed feral child I normally steel myself to see when we make plans to hang.”?
- “I love that I don’t have to try around you.”Cool, next time we go out to dinner, why don’t you wear old man sweatpants, roll around in human waste, and fart at the table? Good times. I won’t try either.
- “I don’t even think of you as a girl.”That’s because I’m not. I’m just wearing a full-body girl suit. I’ve actually been a huge ferret this whole time.
- “You’re single because you’re too picky.””You should aim more on your own level, like the crazy guy who hangs out outside the local YMCA trying to smoke discarded cigarette butts.”
- “You look so cute with straight hair!”
So I’m not cute with curly hair? Is that what you’re telling me? Thanks.. I have to singe my hair regularly to get it this straight.
- “You’re not thewifing-up type.”Thus marginalizing you to the category of “chill sex buddy” or “woman I call when my wife is out of town.” (But has he seen your hair straight yet!!?! *jumps off bridge*)
- “You look so great onInstagram.”That “fix my hideous face” filter works wonders, huh.
- “I like how you’re not obsessed with how you look.Actually it takes me hours to look like I don’t give a crap about how I look, but thanks anyways.
So there you have it: Ten things not to say (Except for maybe the remark about hair. Feel free to compliment my hair whether it’s straight or curly ^_-)