How Online Dating Has Affected My Sleep

I’m not an early riser, so I get uneasy when I know I have to wake up early. I’m paranoid that I’ll miss my alarm, so my sleep is restless and my dreams on such nights are often troubled.

Most of the time, I wouldn’t say they could be classified as outright nightmares, but my dream from the other night certainly came close.

I’ve often joked that I should create a guy profile just so I can see what men are encountering in the world of online dating. In my dream, I actually did.I don’t remember much about the process itself or how many girls I interacted with, or even what kind of research I was acquiring. But it culminated in scheduling a date.

The person I scheduled the date with was a person my dream self knew well–a good friend whom I figured would be amused by the whole scenario when I showed up at her door. She also happened to be housemates with several other mutual friends. I hadn’t been intending to lead her on. We didn’t exchange terribly many messages–just a few. And I had every intention of telling her before the date who I actually was–I figured she would find it funny. But I didn’t count on the fact that she had fallen quite hard for my internet persona. (Which is weird because, even if I did create a male profile, I would be more of a passive observer than an active communicator.)

As my dream turned out, circumstances piled up, preventing me from letting her know before the big meet up. And when I showed up at her door, she was devastated. But at least she was willing to forgive me–willing, that is, until her housemates got involved.

I spent the rest of my dream hiding from their retaliatory vindictiveness. I don’t even remember WHAT the vindictiveness entailed–only that it caused me to wake up in sheet-gripping panic.

Good news: I do NOT have a male online dating profile.

Better news: I do not know who the people were in my dream. It was weird, because my dream self was very good friends with them, but I don’t think they have real life counterparts. There was no click of correlation to real people or any actual recognition.

Even Better news than that: The people who ARE my good friends might get angry with me over my stupid choices, but I don’t think I have any friends who would actively seek to harm me.

Moral of the story: Avoid snacks right before bed.

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9 thoughts on “How Online Dating Has Affected My Sleep

  1. Nathan "Rosy"

    It’s not your fault that your dream self is the perfect man. I can definitely see how that could wake you with “sheet-gripping panic.”

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  2. Sugar Bear

    Chuck Norris is the “perfect” man. But, he’s married and too old for you. I’m the second in line to Chuck……but as I’m your father…..cannot be perfect for you.

    Now, just give me some time….and I will find Mr. Perfect for you! 😉

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  3. Oh. My. Gosh.
    You are brilliant.
    Why have I never thought of this?!
    I’m in a relationship now but dang… that would have been super useful in the past! Seriously my mind is kind of blown because I was always curious about my………… competition and all that 😉
    I guess it’s better that you left it in the dream world though, that might lead to some obsessing (at least, it would for me).

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      1. I diiiiiid!
        I don’t talk about it very much (because he would MURDER me) but yeah– that’s totally how we met! And I wasn’t the least bit impressed or interested in him at first. In fact, I canceled on him TWICE and then deleted my dating profile… but he had my number and sent a last ditch text practically goading me into getting a drink with him. I thought “what the hell” and………….. he’s wonderful 🙂 So… I’m a believer. You just never know 🙂

        Like

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