Today’s offering is not from my dating website… it is actually a Facebook interaction. (Apparently, nothing is sacred. Be warned, people. Be warned.)
And the moral of this story is that I do NOT understand guys. At all. (And that I’m just plain mean. And kinda cranky after 10 hours of work. oops) Guy readers, help me out here, how is a girl supposed to know if a guy is wanting to have a conversation? Due to the particular person, I assumed it was not based in any kind of interest beyond general, “Hey, I associated with this person once” interest. But he seemed to take my response a bit personally. Is that indicative of quelshed interest I didn’t realize I was heartlessly crushing? After months of not hearing from this particular acquaintance, he wrote:
3:14 PM Do you have a dating profile just to write about your experiences?
(His words are green, and my actual words to him are orange. My commentary is blue.)
[Why, yes, how perceptive. Of COURSE I created an online dating profile just so I could write about people. >_<]
I replied: No. I started the blog after the dating profile. It was too rich to pass on. I’ve met a few very nice people. I just respect them too much to blog about them. But the lamers and crazies? Totally Fair game.
7:29 PM I see
[Good for you. I’m glad the rain is gone.] _____
Next day 7:24 PM I was thinking about either hitting on girls with “hey cutie, how would you like a cheesy pick up line?” Or reverse flirting with “so did it hurt? … fell from heaven? No I thought you were in an accident with your fa…never mind, I’m so sorry!”
[oooookay, then…. What is this supposed to mean? How am I supposed to respond? Does he mean in the context of a message to girl on a dating website?]
9:29 PM Me: Do you do online dating, as well? ____
Next Morning: 5:15 AM I don’t do any king [kind?] of dating
[Why? Why are we having this conversation? What do you expect to accomplish by informing me that you don’t date? It was a closed statement that invited no further remark, and I had to go to work. So I refrained from reply.]
Later that evening at 6:35 PM: I see that you have in fact seen my response, yet have not responded in turn. Obviously you desire to cease conversation. While that hurts my feeling I bid you good day. I am going to sulk now. By playing Xbox.
[Facebook is both a blessing and a curse. Yes, I may have seen your message. But you, dear stalker, have NO idea the circumstances surrounding the reading. And by this time I was tired, hungry, and not at all receptive to guilting nonsense. Fuming at the receptionist desk, I texted out a response rant.]
6:36 PM ???? What did you expect me to say? [You made a blanket statement that wasn’t exactly an opening for discussion.] So, you kissed dating goodbye. [? that was the best conclusion I could come to about why he informed me of his dating eschewing] That’s great. Good for you. Gold star. Happy?
6:48 PM No. I didn’t kiss dating goodbye. I just don’e have time. You don’t need to be mean about it.
6:54 PM Well, you wrote to me at 5:12 AM. And then got huffy that I didn’t reply (I work from 8-8 today. Sorry I didn’t prioritize responding to your one-line statement.) How did you expect me to respond when goaded? You made a closed statement. If you desire response, open ended questions are the way to go. Also, keep in mind that text carries no vocal tones. The only time I’ve ever heard people talk about “I don’t date” is when they have been making a morally superior point. So if you didn’t want it read that way, you could have said “I don’t have time to date” so it didn’t come across as a self-righteous put down. Then, when goaded, I probably would have replied with: bummer. You’re missing out. It’s kinda fun. [Also, my phone was dying. >_< But Facebook indicated he was typing.] My battery is down to 3%. Please don’t be offended if I don’t reply to whatever you are typing.
6:58 PM You are right. Written responses have no vocal tones. I was kidding about you not responding [That was a joke? Seriously, you gotta use some emoticons or something.] and was trying to strike up conversation again. [oooooooh… guilt tripping me about not replying and whining about sulking by playing xbox was supposed to prompt me to continue talking to you! I get it now!] I was not kidding about you being mean. [It’s a good thing I never claimed to be nice.] I won’t bother you anymore. [Pardon me while I go weep?]
_____ sigh Am I the only one confused about how his statements were supposed to provoke profitable communication? Anyway, The conclusion of the whole matter is that I am mean.
Time to go rethink life, I suppose.