I post a great many examples of poorly written first message, but for this post, a change of pace.
Someone recently asked me : “Do you have any GOOD experiences with online dating?” and the answer is, “Of COURSE. (They just don’t generally happen to be as entertaining. And let’s face it: If I actually think I have a chance of developing a relationship with a guy, you probably won’t hear too much about him until the chances of alienating him should he discover my blog have been minimized ^_-)
In the song “A New Life” from the poorly received but beautifully written musical Jekyll and Hyde, Lucy begs the universe for “one sweet chance to prove the cynics wrong.”
My experience on POF has made me a bit cynical regarding copy/paste intro messages. Alas for Lucy, her request was not granted; but yesterday, this cynic was proven wrong not just once, but TWICE.
Message Sender 1:
Hi there! OH and may I extend to you the obligatory “Happy New Year!”
I just kind of threw a profile up on here last night and would you believe it has nothing to do with a resolution!
As I’m sure you have seen I have yet to write a self summary and need to put some more pictures up BUT I viewed your profile and really liked it so I wanted to say hello and see if you might be interested in striking up a conversation?
Thanks for your time and consideration!
What did you like best about my profile, B*****?
Message Sender 1:
Now THAT is a fair question! I mean, what an ambiguous thing to say! Hahaha I might as well have said “Ambiguous statement with a generally positive message about your existence!”
Anyway I really appreciate the WAY you wrote. Now that is something I may not be able to really explain but I think the manner in which people use words can be appealing.
Your opening line where you openly admit you are slightly nuts was endearing in an almost self-deprecating way!
Obviously your faith is an important thing as well!
I am intrigued at you expressed ability to “twist peoples words” I think I do that too….well that is if you meant that you are good at implying something other than what was intended. 🙂
OH and that you have a punny and cheesy sense of humor AAAANNNNDDDD that you have a genuine appreciation for those simple quiet moments with friends etc.
I know that essentially says “I liked everything in your summary” but those are all things that seriously resonate with me. So there! 🙂
Well played, Sir, well played. (20-something messages later, we are still communicating. ^_^)
Message Sender 2:
Hey you seem pretty cool! What’s up?
Thank you. What about me seems cool?
Message Sender 2:
Well let’s start with the spider killing ability! While I’m more the kind to let most go outside a girl who can make her own kills in that market… Well that’s a rare find! Then the whole loving Jesus thing and being willing to stand for it. Also rare. Jesus is my life. I want to be in ministry for the rest of my life. Girls who love Jesus and kill spiders aren’t on ever street corner mind you!
Oh! And I’m a huge office fan and as such I am quit punny… Which is a word I thought I exclusively used. Until now…
Unfortunately, further messages disclosed that Message Sender 2 is located in Georgia, which is not exactly conducive to having an actual date, so there’s not much chance of continued investment in communication.
But there are two valuable lessons to be learned from these examples:
#1) Not every vaguely generic message is a copy/paste message, so a clarifying question can be a good thing.
#2) Guys, don’t assume you’ll get the opportunity to clarify. Begin your first message as if she’s already asked what you liked about her profile.