In Which I Resolve to Make Better Bad Decisions

Every once in a while, inspiration strikes. When it does, it tends to leave a bruise  because my skin is RIDICULOUSLY sensitive; and contemplating this unnecessary violence led me to the sudden realization that I needed to step up my game when it comes to acquisition of culinary excellence.

I decided that as soon as I finish zero to hero (and then get caught up on all those necessary things I’ve been ignoring such as laundry and cleaning), I would learn some baking basics. As a previous post evidences, my culinary expertise is lacking. But it’s never too late to learn, right?  Then, as soon as I mastered a few pinterest-worthy recipes, I would start a females-only baking club with the delightful snarktastic (and horrifically socially unacceptable) name “Battered Women.”

Plans were in full swing, (even including anticipation of “The Battered Woman’s Cookbook”  featuring batter-based recipes along with quotations about revenge and tips for serving it either hot or cold) and I was lost in a haze of eager anticipation until one of my friends proudly announced, “I want to be a battered woman!”

Though some amazingly cute “Battered Women” aprons could be marketed to hardcore kitchen gurus and hobbyist homemakers alike, it just sounds REALLY bad when the desire to be a battered woman is expressed free of context.


So much for that idea.


21 thoughts on “In Which I Resolve to Make Better Bad Decisions

  1. You could put a charitable spin on such a thing, if you did it right. I get not wanting to do it through. Still, hilarious concept. And for what it’s worth, I’m a former battered woman and took no offense at all. In fact, I busted out laughing. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! (I’m glad I didn’t offend you. It’s easy for me to take lightly, having not been in an abusive situation, but I can imagine it would be too emotionally charged for many).

      Cooking is really rather violent, though, when you think about it. I mean, beating eggs, whipping cream, batter… sheesh.

      Maybe the charitable foundation could be to make cooking more socially acceptable ^_-

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You made me laugh. Maybe it’s just a matter of choosing another name for the project, because I think it’s worth a try (I would be one to take part on this challenge to my culinary lack of skills).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ^_^ The whole point was forming the club out of the completely socially unacceptable name.

      But who are we kidding? The club would require me to have enough motivation to actually ACQUIRE some kitchen skills. I don’t foresee that happening in the immediate future. (Not that I’ve ever been good at seeing the future. If I had THAT skill, life would certainly be a LOT different ^_-)


    1. That’s a GREAT team name!
      Yeah, the tongue-in-cheekness was purely hypothetical and too emotionally charged to ever be acted upon.

      Kudos to y’all for your mud run motivation. I keep intending to work out. But so far the closest I’ve gotten is changing the name of my bathroom from “John” to “Jim” so I can tell people I go to the Jim every day first thing in the morning. . .

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Leituras que inspiram | Rabiscos da Ju

  4. Pingback: Do You Need a Laugh? Part 2 | Living, Learning and Letting Go

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