In Which a Dozen Might Be Too Much Too Soon

For one hour each day, I am the receptionist at my place of employment.

I sit behind the front desk and monitor the security cameras, greet guests, distribute badges, sign people in and out, answer the phone,  and scroll through my WordPress Reader feed while the security guard is on break. For obvious reasons, it is one of my favorite segments of the workday.

Last week, during one of my front desk sessions, a florist delivered a dozen red roses. They were beautiful–deep red and velvety, potently scented, and lusciously arranged. When the employee to whom they had been sent came to retrieve them, I commented on the beauty of the arrangement; and she surprised me by confiding that they were from a gentleman with whom she had gone on a first date the night before.

A dozen roses the morning after a first date?

I think I would feel a bit overwhelmed. Perhaps I’m skeptical because it’s never happened to me, but I think a dozen red roses after a first date falls into the category of too much too soon.

(Maybe this is why guys get so frustrated with girls: We say we want flowers and then criticize the amount and type they send when they DO send them?)

Seriously though, a DOZEN roses? After a FIRST date?

Maybe I wouldn’t find the roses quite so disconcerting if the employee hadn’t mentioned that, during the first date, the man in question suggested taking her to Vegas the following month. That probably colors my opinion with a great deal of negative bias because it seems to me that future weekend travel arrangements to Vegas are not the kind of thing  one proposes to someone they don’t even know yet–unless, of course, they are only seeking short term physical gratification. Nothing screams “I’m not interested in investing in an actual relationship with you” quite like suggesting a trip to Vegas with a girl you’ve known for all of 20 minutes.

Though I knew who she was due to her consistently fantastic choice of footwear (she is probably the most fashionable employee who works at the facility), I had never had a conversation with this employee–merely admired her footwear from afar. But an inquiry about the roses led to the admission that she had met the guy through online dating; and suddenly a person with whom I thought I had nothing in common became a kindred spirit, and we ended up scheduling a lunch date to swap online stories.

Online dating exists to bring people together; yet it never ceases to amuse me how unexpectedly that can happen.

What do you think?
Am I too judgmental about the first date dozen? Is it romantic or just too much?

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They lasted a full week
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29 thoughts on “In Which a Dozen Might Be Too Much Too Soon

  1. I know someone who marries a guy after a week of meeting, she said the guy is romantic (maybe because he gave her flowers and chocolates and those suprise notes). Now, she’s battered. Well, good read. And good thing to know that you work on a hotel? I guess? hehe. I am longing to have a job like yours.

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    1. Lol. Nope I work in a shipping dock. Most of my day is spent processing mail and loading/unloading trucks and receiving packages and the like. So the three times I sit at the desk to relieve the security guard are a nice change of pace. 🙂

      Yeah. I had a friend who married a guy after three weeks of knowing him. She is now remarried to a guy who truly loves her, but her first marriage was a terribly sad story of abuse 😦

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    1. Still, though, generally when you meet someone that you know is special immediately, or rather ESPECIALLY when you do, isn’t the goal to NOT scare them away by coming on too strong? ^_-

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    1. Thank you! ^_^
      Even if love at first sight does exist, I don’t think I’d want it.
      I’d rather have someone love me after they’ve been looking at me for a long time. That way I’d know they are aware of my flaws but love me anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Adrea

    I think the fact that they are red is the too much part. When my boyfriend gave me a dozen roses on my bday after only being together a few weeks, everyone’s first comment was that he did a great job on picking the color of the roses (orange by the way). For some reason, color was the important part to everyone and they all mentioned how wrong that would be to choose red whether they meant because it was too soon or too trite or too much period.
    Also the Vegas thing reminds me of my Volleyball Smurf from last November/December. On date 2 he mentioned us going to Vegas and I had my hopes so high (With him and with the trip) and I had just gotten the very most perfect dress to wear there. Long story short, we didn’t go, and he turned out to be the biggest douchebag I’ve ever dated.

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    1. Red is traditionally exceedingly symbolic, so I think any color other than red would have been ok. Or, maybe ONE red rose. Single roses are extremely sweet “I’m smitten with you” gestures. A dozen though? After a first date? Smarmy. Utterly smarmy.

      I hope you get an opportunity to wear your fabulous dress. 😉

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      1. Adrea

        One rose is a great move! But I don’t like it when it’s in a vase for some reason. Especially a vase and baby’s breath and a ribbon. lol

        You know, I still haven’t worn that darn dress yet!!

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          1. Adrea

            seriously! The roses I got on my bday had no baby breath in it and his roommate tried to tell him it should have had it and i was like NO!!!!

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    2. I would never plan a trip with someone I haven’t known for the number of hours (they needn’t be consecutive) I will be expected to spend with then during said trip. I have to know I can tolerate (if not enjoy — but Hopefully enjoy) their company for the duration of that time frame.

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        1. I’ve met a few people whose company I’ve really enjoyed the first two times we hung out… but then the sparkle wore off and the more time I spent with them the more I realized I wanted to spend Less time with them. Thank fully, it doesn’t happen often, but it’s taught me the value of knowing I like spending time with people before committing to spending a LOT of it with them ^_^

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Adrea

            That’s a good point too! I’ve had great first dates where the second was “wah waaaaaaaaaaah”. So can you imagine if the second date was in Vegas?
            Wait then again I did do the ultimate opposite of all this! What am I thinking, I sound like a hypocrite now. I don’t know if you know this but boyfriend #1 last year and I had our very first date in Vegas while I was on a work trip. He spent two nights there with me. HAHAHA I can’t believe I’m saying all this stuff about quick trips to vegas when I have that story in my history!!!

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  3. Charity – You wrote “(Maybe this is why guys get so frustrated with girls: We say we want flowers and then criticize the amount and type they send when they DO send them?)”

    I just want to point out that your reply to Adrea’s comment criticizes the color of the roses, even. I get it; I do – red is the symbol of love. A dozen red roses means something. To women. And some men.

    But I think most men, me included, would just think “I want to tell her I had a good time with her. What can I do to tell her that? I know, women like roses. I’ll send her roses. And I don’t want her to think I’m cheap, so I’ll send her a dozen. What woman doesn’t like getting a dozen red roses?” That’s a generalization, but I think you see my point. Sorry, I promise I’m not always playing devil’s advocate. 🙂

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    1. haha. It’s all good.

      Everyone is welcome to share my opinion, but if you insist on having one of your own, I suppose I’ll allow it.

      😉

      Where you and I differ, though, is the ok-ness of the generalization of women.

      I don’t want a guy to do something for me because he thinks women as a whole like it. I want a guy who is interested enough in me to pursue understanding MY likes and dislikes. For example, I personally prefer tea roses or the whimsical happiness of gerbera daisies to roses. If roses are the choice, my personal favorites are deep yellow with ruffly petals and scarlet-tipped edges.

      I would appreciate ANY flowers (assuming that they are not from a stalker or it isn’t a dozen red roses following a first date), because it IS a nice gesture; but I would find it far more meaningful if a guy actually sought out my preferences.

      But that is something a guy would only know if he has intentionally set out to know these.

      I think guys would find it surprising how easy (and much less expensive) it is to win a girl’s heart by seeking a specific heart as opposed to applying general knowledge.

      How often have you sent a dozen roses after a first date?

      Also, would you invite a woman on trip to Vegas with you having only just met her and spoken for two hours? (keep in mind, it is the combination of these things that raises the creep-flag)

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  4. My answer is way too long, Charity, I might make it a blog post springing off yours. Quick answers: No, not flowers, but I have given a similar gift and was quickly dismissed for being “too intense”, which may have been true, but I know my heart was in the right place. No, I would not invite a stranger on a trip because I am not rich, and because I am an introvert—it takes me a while to trust people. I would also think they’d decline for security concerns, although I know they’d be safe with me. But others are far more spontaneous and social than I am, especially when excited about a blossoming romance. There is definitely cause for concern for your coworker’s situation, but I don’t think he should be written off unless she’s catching a smarm vibe.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi again. I have written out long-form what I wanted to say, as opposed to my quick answer above. But I wanted to fly it by you first, if that’s ok. Could I get an email to request feedback? I think it’s a respectful reply, but the subject can be a little touchy and I absolutely don’t want to tick anyone off. There’s a contact button on my page if you’d like to give me an email. Plus you can alert me of any straying or unnecessary commas 🙂

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    1. But please don’t be offended if I don’t reply right away. It’s tech week for a performance I’m in, and I have a freelance project with a looming deadline. So I might not be able to reply thoroughly until After Sunday. If that is the case, it’s NOT bc I’m offended.

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  6. Pingback: Drilled Since Diapers | the relative cartographer

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