In Which Not Running Is One of My Favorite Hobbies

Yesterday, my older sister completed a half marathon. I am incredibly proud of her and in deep admiration of her healthy choices and commitment to physical fitness.

Look at her go!

(She’s the one in light blue–isn’t she lovely?)

Every day, it seems, pictures are cropping up in my Facebook newsfeed about marathons completed, Tough Mudders conquered, miles logged on a daily jog, etc.

Running seems to be the it thing these days—that thing that all the cool people do… The thing that all the healthy people do.

And I want to be motivated enough to run. Really, I do. But it seems like the only running I ever do is a) from my problems or b) in the opposite direction of spiders. (And that is generally a short-lived effort at best).

Running (Nay—athleticism in general!) Β is just not my thing. But I feel excessively guilty about this. (Don’t ALL single twenty-something’s have a gym membership?) I briefly considered naming my bathroom Jim. That way, instead of going to the John first thing every morning, I could say I go to the Jim.
But semantics aside, I lack the motivation to turn thinking about wanting to run into actually—you know—running.

But different strokes for different folks, right? Some people are the spinach and kale type while others are more the pizza and ice cream type. I had always classified myself as the pizza and ice cream type until today.

I fail at life

Alas, this morning, I realized that even ICE CREAM, when left out for too long, runs more than I do.

Even Ice Cream is More Athletically Inclined Than I Am

It might be time to re-evaluate my life decisions.

Until then, If you ever see me running, you should probably start running, too, because chances are, something scary is chasing me.


12 thoughts on “In Which Not Running Is One of My Favorite Hobbies

  1. I was wondering if the appearance of all the running posts (I’m getting lots of those showing up among my friends as well) has to do with hitting a certain age too. I”m in my early 30s, and many of my friends that are getting their running-groove on are in their mid-20s to mid-30s.
    I, however, will join you in not running. My body, actually, thanks me for not running.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. amen! If I am not only too lazy to run but also to post about it on facebook as much as people who run like post about how far, fast and often they run. I would rather lick the hand rail of an escalator than jog around my block. the last time I ran was to the gate for a flight i was late for in 2004.


    1. If those were my only two options, O’d probably go for the jog—if only to avoid potential disease. But it would be the slowest, least motivates jog ever.


  3. chollerina

    Running is soooo overrated! I can’t even, like literally CAN’T run. I have shin splints as a souvenir from my dancing days and even a sprint to catch a train will keep me feeling like I have needles sticking into my legs for days. I agree though, running seems to be very hip! I’ve been considering buying rollerblades (WAY MORE FUN!), to at least get out and move a bit xD
    However, I have just stolen your Jim idea. My bathroom (which also features our pet, a flamingo-shower curtain) shall now be named Jim. Brilliant, you are. X


  4. Very fun writing style you have here! I love how you ended this. Something Scary. Fear sure can motivate. Sometimes I run at dusk but get tired after a long day’s work. To stay motivated, I tell myself there’s a man waiting behind the next set of hedges and if i don’t run by fast enough, he’ll grab me. He hasn’t had his way with me yet!


    1. I would probably use the man behind the hedge idea not to run fast past the hedges but as an excuse to never venture outdoors again!

      I’m glad you’ve not been accosted by nefarious hedge-lurkers!

      Thank you for your kind words. πŸ™‚


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