Ex Files: Return of the Ex-men

Well, here we are again, back in the realm of receiving email messages from strangers.

I get it, nice guys of the online dating world, you are frustrated that you send out message after message and very rarely get a response.

But—before complaining, please consider your message from the recipient’s perspective. Does it contain anything that would compel a woman to reply? Seriously, people, SELL YOURSELVES!

“Hi, how are you?” is bland and boring.

If this is the type of message you generally send as an icebreaker, stop. Just—please—stop.

I’ve received about 5 such messages in the past 2 hours. Though it is a vast improvement over crude innuendo and brazen invitations to engage in physical intimacy, there is NOTHING to distinguish it from other such messages than the profile picture that accompanies it.  Make yourself STAND OUT. Do something to show me you’ve read my profile rather than simply browsed my pictures. And please, do so in a GOOD way.

Don’t do it like these two unfortunate Ex-men:

Mr. Ex 1:

Hey there! My name is E*** 🙂 I believe every good relationship starts with honesty, trust, and just having a good time. So my question to you is would you ever go to a nude beach?? Why or why not?? Haha I’ve been in the past and it was both terrifying and fun at the same time.

[First of all, I’m on a dating website to meet people whom I will determine potentiality for relationship AFTER we interact. I don’t care about your views concerning relationships when I don’t even know YOU. So let’s back up and not put the cart before the horse, shall we?

Next, if we haven’t discussed interacting in a fully-clothed venue, I will not be discussing with you my willingness [or lack thereof] to visit a nudist beach.

Finally, If you have fun baring all to strangers, there is no point in further discussion as I am a firm believer in boundaries reserved for specific levels of intimacy.

Terrifying? Yes, this message certainly was. Fun? Not so much.]

Mr. Ex 2:

“hi hows it going id like to get and know you so if your up for that let me know”

Me: “Thank you for your message, but per the end of my profile, I don’t think we would be a good match. Best wishes.”  (One of the stipulations under my You-should-message-me-if section reads, “If you know the difference between to/too/two and your/you’re.”)

Mr. Ex:  “was that because i used the your instead of you’re totally blanked that out when typing so yes i can spell and do know the differences in the homonym’s”

[He gets points for knowing that these words are called homonyms, but the lack of punctuation and capitalization make me twitch. And PLEASE don’t use the excuse that you are texting, so you can’t be expected to use punctuation and capitalization. If you don’t have the time to represent yourself well to someone you want to convince to give you a chance, wait until you do.]


9 thoughts on “Ex Files: Return of the Ex-men

  1. This was always a pet peeve of mine when venturing into the world you describe. In fact, I never ventured too far just because of it — and too many pictures of old guys on motorcycles………

    Love reading your blog. Recently, I was given a Liebster Award which entitles me to now nominate other folks for the award and because I love reading about your adventures I pick YOU!

    Read all about it here: http://splendidsass.wordpress.com/2014/05/14/the-liebster-award/


    1. Thank you so much! A really appreciate the nomination!
      I don’t have time to do the Liebster again, right now, but you get a gold star (or three) for nominating me 🙂

      Yeah. Old men in motorcycles… Or speedos. I might start a “worst pic Wednesdays” series.


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