In Which My Dream is NOT a Heartfelt Wish

A famous princess once claimed, “A dream is a wish your heart makes.”

If that is so, my heart is making some STRANGE wishes, and I’m concerned for my heart’s sanity.

In spite of how fine I feel things have been going, I must have some pent up anger/bitterness/whatever-else-have-you lurking around somewhere in the dim corners of my psyche because this morning I woke up furious with the Physicist. I don’t think I have ever before felt downright wrathful toward someone over a DREAM–a dream that, if it had been real, would have taken place two weeks ago.

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How Online Dating Has Affected My Sleep

I’m not an early riser, so I get uneasy when I know I have to wake up early. I’m paranoid that I’ll miss my alarm, so my sleep is restless and my dreams on such nights are often troubled.

Most of the time, I wouldn’t say they could be classified as outright nightmares, but my dream from the other night certainly came close.

I’ve often joked that I should create a guy profile just so I can see what men are encountering in the world of online dating. In my dream, I actually did.I don’t remember much about the process itself or how many girls I interacted with, or even what kind of research I was acquiring. But it culminated in scheduling a date.

The person I scheduled the date with was a person my dream self knew well–a good friend whom I figured would be amused by the whole scenario when I showed up at her door. She also happened to be housemates with several other mutual friends. I hadn’t been intending to lead her on. We didn’t exchange terribly many messages–just a few. And I had every intention of telling her before the date who I actually was–I figured she would find it funny. But I didn’t count on the fact that she had fallen quite hard for my internet persona. (Which is weird because, even if I did create a male profile, I would be more of a passive observer than an active communicator.)

As my dream turned out, circumstances piled up, preventing me from letting her know before the big meet up. And when I showed up at her door, she was devastated. But at least she was willing to forgive me–willing, that is, until her housemates got involved.

I spent the rest of my dream hiding from their retaliatory vindictiveness. I don’t even remember WHAT the vindictiveness entailed–only that it caused me to wake up in sheet-gripping panic.

Good news: I do NOT have a male online dating profile.

Better news: I do not know who the people were in my dream. It was weird, because my dream self was very good friends with them, but I don’t think they have real life counterparts. There was no click of correlation to real people or any actual recognition.

Even Better news than that: The people who ARE my good friends might get angry with me over my stupid choices, but I don’t think I have any friends who would actively seek to harm me.

Moral of the story: Avoid snacks right before bed.