Ex Files: In Which 8 Years Will Become 9 Unless this Profile Changes Drastically

Every once in a while, I come across a profile SO BAD that I can’t help but wonder if the person is serious. Is it some sort of social experiment? Is it some kind of joke? Is it a tongue-in-cheek loss to a bet in which the loser had to set up a dating profile– and it was executed in the worst way the loser could possibly imagine?

Between the randomized capital letters, lack of punctuation, and whining, I’m not sure if I the note about being funny is hilarious or horribly tragic.


My self-summary

WELL I AM name deleted I AM old enough to know better. IM INTO PUNK,ROCKABILLY, AND METAL MUSIC, I LIKE HOT ROD SHOWS, CARSHOWS, COMICS, MOVIES, OLD BIKES,
I LOVE TO DRAW,
I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN IS THAT TO MUCH TO ASK???
I HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR OVER 8 F@#KING YEARS, I AM CLEAN, NEVER BEEN IN ANY KIND OF TROUBLE, NEVER BEEN TO JAIL OR PRISON,

What I’m doing with my life

OK, 1 TRYING TO GET A NICE PRETTY, SMART, GIRLFRIEND, BEEN HURT TOO LONG AND NEED TO FEEL LOVE AGAIN……
 

The first things people usually notice about me

i am funny

Ex Files: Return of the Ex-men

Well, here we are again, back in the realm of receiving email messages from strangers.

I get it, nice guys of the online dating world, you are frustrated that you send out message after message and very rarely get a response.

But—before complaining, please consider your message from the recipient’s perspective. Does it contain anything that would compel a woman to reply? Seriously, people, SELL YOURSELVES!

“Hi, how are you?” is bland and boring.

If this is the type of message you generally send as an icebreaker, stop. Just—please—stop.

I’ve received about 5 such messages in the past 2 hours. Though it is a vast improvement over crude innuendo and brazen invitations to engage in physical intimacy, there is NOTHING to distinguish it from other such messages than the profile picture that accompanies it.  Make yourself STAND OUT. Do something to show me you’ve read my profile rather than simply browsed my pictures. And please, do so in a GOOD way.

Don’t do it like these two unfortunate Ex-men:
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