In Which I am in the Zone–The Friend Zone, That Is

I am often guilty of writing singularly from the perspective of why the men I write about aren’t worthy of my consideration as potential candidates for romance. This might lead a reader to believe that I have an over-inflated view of my own desirability.

Not so. I have experienced my fair share of rejection. And I would be remiss not to share a bit about that.

So today I present: The FRIEND ZONE— a space I have spent a great deal of time in, particularly in the not-too-recent past.

Continue reading “In Which I am in the Zone–The Friend Zone, That Is”

In Which God’s Gift to the Female Population Writes a Profile

I’m about to analyze a profile from the female perspective. My words will be in brackets. Everything else is his.

About Him & Who He’s Looking For 

[Spoiler: It’s actually more about who he’s looking for–and she’s a great catch! The question I want to know: Is he????]

Continue reading “In Which God’s Gift to the Female Population Writes a Profile”

In Which there are Gold Stars and Punny Jokes

What’s with all the Gold stars mentioned in these conversations? Keep reading, you’ll find out.

If you’ve read my blog for a while, you understand that I expect a lot from online conversations with strangers. I rarely continue them unless they are engaging; however, I do try to give people something to start with.

This is my current profile.
What do you think? Would you send me a message? Continue reading “In Which there are Gold Stars and Punny Jokes”

Ex Files: In Which 8 Years Will Become 9 Unless this Profile Changes Drastically

Every once in a while, I come across a profile SO BAD that I can’t help but wonder if the person is serious. Is it some sort of social experiment? Is it some kind of joke? Is it a tongue-in-cheek loss to a bet in which the loser had to set up a dating profile– and it was executed in the worst way the loser could possibly imagine?

Between the randomized capital letters, lack of punctuation, and whining, I’m not sure if I the note about being funny is hilarious or horribly tragic.


My self-summary

WELL I AM name deleted I AM old enough to know better. IM INTO PUNK,ROCKABILLY, AND METAL MUSIC, I LIKE HOT ROD SHOWS, CARSHOWS, COMICS, MOVIES, OLD BIKES,
I LOVE TO DRAW,
I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN IS THAT TO MUCH TO ASK???
I HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR OVER 8 F@#KING YEARS, I AM CLEAN, NEVER BEEN IN ANY KIND OF TROUBLE, NEVER BEEN TO JAIL OR PRISON,

What I’m doing with my life

OK, 1 TRYING TO GET A NICE PRETTY, SMART, GIRLFRIEND, BEEN HURT TOO LONG AND NEED TO FEEL LOVE AGAIN……
 

The first things people usually notice about me

i am funny

Ex Files: In Which there are Reasons I am Still Single

Him:
I made it to the bottom of your profile yay! I think most people only look at the picture lol! I thought you were pretty interesting I’d like to claim my prize, I’d love to chat it up with you I’m usually always free :p benefits of being single!

Me: 
Thank you for your message, M***.
You may have your gold star, but I am far too fond of punctuation and properly capitalized pronouns to chat 🙂
Best wishes!


In my defense, I DID go to his profile before this response. It was egregiously worse. At least in his message he capitalized the letter i  before using it as a pronoun….

Ex Files: In Which I Get Blocked by a Judgmental Chicken Farmer

During the past several days, I have engaged in several conversations with single strangers.

One or two of them have struggled to get past: How are you? great! How was your day! wonderful, yours? Good, thanks. Have a good night! you too! (These conversations are clearly going nowhere.)

A few have been fun and engaging. (Which is both a blessing and a curse, because fun, engaging conversations take time. And time is a precious commodity. So they are fun and engaging in bits and pieces, with vast tracts of doing other things in between.)

And then there are the conversations that leave my wondering what the heck is happening? They begin in a promising fashion and devolve into… well, in the case of the chicken farmer, insult and assumption.
Continue reading “Ex Files: In Which I Get Blocked by a Judgmental Chicken Farmer”