In Which I am in the Zone–The Friend Zone, That Is

I am often guilty of writing singularly from the perspective of why the men I write about aren’t worthy of my consideration as potential candidates for romance. This might lead a reader to believe that I have an over-inflated view of my own desirability.

Not so. I have experienced my fair share of rejection. And I would be remiss not to share a bit about that.

So today I present: The FRIEND ZONE— a space I have spent a great deal of time in, particularly in the not-too-recent past.

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In Which I Must Take My Own Advice

It’s been a while since I’ve written–a month to be exact.

There’s always a certain amount of one’s own story that belongs to the others who feature in it; and there has been many a time I’ve violated another’s privacy by sharing publicly more than they were comfortable with. I didn’t know how to walk that line well while dating the Physicist; so, having erred on the side of over-sharing in times past, I just chose not to write at all this time around.

But I will be writing more now. And I will probably mention the physicist now and again, but mostly in generalities out of respect for his privacy and personhood. But the truth of the matter is that the physicist is now simply THE physicist rather than MY physicist. As of Sunday, 2.5 months after the officialness of our relationship began, it came to an unexpectedly abrupt end.

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In Which I Talk about Rejection

Rejection Just Ahead Green Road Sign with Dramatic Storm Clouds and Sky.


It’s pretty Suck-tastic.

No one likes it, and dealing with it can be difficult to say the least.

In my opinion (which is humble. obviously. Why else would I have a blog to air my opinions were they not among the humblest?) lack of closure is the hardest part about rejection.

We like to know what we did wrong. [Because surely, if we could just fix those few behaviors that made all the difference, it wouldn’t have happened. We can make sure to never do that one thing  again and could thereby convince the object of our unrequited affection that they want us after all! Right? Right???]

It doesn’t really work that way.

And one of the most difficult parts of turning down or breaking up with a genuinely nice person is trying to articulate WHY.

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